Tuesday, 27 December 2011

I am a Guerrilla!!

They operate secretly, hide behind bushes and in ruins and end up in sewage tanks and underground drains walking over the shit of others and even smearing some of it on their faces (read: art of deception) and most importantly take on mightier oppositions. Very good!! Full marks to you for guessing (claps). Yes, I am talking about guerrilla warriors. I know ages of cinema has clarified your definition of a guerrilla. But have you ever heard about a guerrilla blogger? No? Then here’s a very, very confidential document that I am going to leak out right here, right now. If you are reading this consider yourself lucky ‘cause not many would lay their hands (rather eyes) over this, trust me. Delighted? Excited already? Okay, now calm down a bit and concentrate. Here’s something that would require some wrestling with your grey cells. Great secrets don’t reveal themselves that easily.


Mode of operation: SECRECY!! That’s all it’s all about. You know that you know a potential guerrilla blogger the moment you realise you never knew about him/her. There is a slim chance you have ever heard an explosion (read: a blog-post) that they carried out with tireless efforts and dedication. And if you ever did, maybe it was you needed to refill your ammo (ideas you know) or it was just a mere case of straying into unknown territory (the guerrilla blogs of course)

N.B: The ‘you’ in the above point doesn’t refer to the civilians (non-bloggers).

Methods of offence: Now this is the part that is really going to help you to catch sight the elusive Guerrilla Blogger. Come on, concentrate a little more. I know it’s too much technical but can’t help you see.

1) They will carry out bold offensives. Now no one gets bowled over by these bold missions. But they simply carry out such missions (write posts that is, dumbo) that civilians don’t dare to, in a planned, clinical manner.

2) They will jump in to counter-fire (reply to comments) almost immediately. They just can’t afford to wait for further enemy movements which is too minimal in their case. Civilians must be secured first and if they can make one or two civilians to reach safe-zones (click “follow” or “Like”) then its party-time for a guerrilla blogger.

3) Once in a while, they will creep into high-sensitivity zones (those popular blogs) and shoot an well-directed bullet (comment).They are in constant look-out for those zones and keep track of their activity ( for tracking they use the much-effective Follow gadget)

Who they are up against: The Big Daddies and Mommas of Blogistan.

What do they fight for: Mainly, they fight to protect the territories called Interest and Talent. But it’s often a much vulnerable territory called Self-pride that gets attacked.

Arms ‘n’ ammunition: Self-mutating ‘Idea’ rifles, ‘Hope’ Bombs and ‘Spirit’ amours.

Accessories: Internet connection, computer

Costume: Doesn’t matter. They keep changing their appearance (templates, layout, and widgets) in the name of improvisation.

Great!! You have done well to finish the entire manual without being subjected to any poison-gas attack or a long-distance sniper shot(claps again). So you might be thinking how I know these Top Secret details and why am I giving it out. Well, well, I am very much like SRK in Don2 when he hands over that CD to the cops. Oh yes! You are right again (Now seriously, you owe me a treat on that).

I am a Guerrilla Blogger!!! (Background music plays as I take off the mask….dhan taa naaan).

Have you come across one of them? Or are you one yourself?


  1. Ha! Wikileaks from Prosenjeet. Wonder if you now face extradition charges!

    Btw from an ex Guerilla Blogger - don't give up. Consistency is the key to success :)

  2. Come on Pro, bro! Blogging isn't a war. It is more a soap box in ether. The good thing is that you read some and discard others without anyone being any the wiser.

  3. @Purba: Yes!! (Now wonder which statement was this 'yes' for :P)

    @KayEm: If it isn't war it isn't love either. But no one is to be blamed here. This post is more of a laughing-at-my-own-stock rather than anything remotely serious :)


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